Phil. 2:4

Don’t look out only for your own interests, but look out for the interests of others, too!

Having been in a triathlon club, our team would swim, bike, and run with each other to prep for big races. Although we trained as a team, there was an obvious sense of competitiveness among the group. Everyone wanted to have the fastest swim, the fastest transition, the fastest 5k split, the fastest overall time. Although we all wore the same blue and yellow jersey with the Strive triathlon logo on the front, we’d secretly hope to place higher than the others. When I saw a blue and yellow jersey on the triathlon course, I made it a point to catch and pass them, muttering a pathetic “nice job” as I inched ahead.

Although competitiveness can be somewhat accepted in athletics, there’s no need for it within the church family. We’re called to think of others more highly than ourselves, and holding the mindset the world revolves around us does nothing but hurt our brothers and sisters.

To be completely honest, I had a bad attitude coming into this program. Many of the girls at Pepperdine held a “ring by Spring” mentality, wanting to get married right out of college, and I’ll shamefully admit I was one of them. I came into this program with the mindset I’d get it over with as fast as possible in order to start my “real life” once I got home. I had one foot here in Guatemala and another back home in the States. When Pastor Mike was here, he pulled me aside out of the blue, telling me he needed to talk to me. I had barely talked to him prior to this meeting, but he spoke as if he knew my deepest secrets. “You have the rest of your life to be married and have kids... make sure you get everything out of this program you can and focus on being here.” I was stunned, and immediately laid my life plans at the foot of Jesus’s throne. He saw I wasn’t focusing on my relationships here, I was instead too busy worrying about my future life as a wife and mother.

There’s no I in Ignite. Well, actually there is... but Ignite is not a one-man show. We’re a team of 18 strong individuals with one single focus: growing closer to Jesus of Nazareth. We all left homes, family, friends, jobs, and opportunities behind to dedicate a year to the Lord and receive accelerated spiritual growth. Yes, we all have interests at home, but God called us here for a reason, and growing together as a family is essential.

Wednesday, Aug. 26, 2014

Phil. 2:5&6

You must have the same attitude Christ Jesus had. Though He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.

Jesus was with God at the creation of the world, meaning He could have came down to Earth at any point in history. Should I go down to lead Your people out of Egypt? No, son, just wait. Should I go down to build an arc to repopulate the world? No, son, be patient. Should I go down to build Your mighty temple? Son, trust my timing.

God is never early and never late, and He decided where, when, and how His beloved Heavenly son would be born in the world to save the people. God chose the exact mother, exact town, and exact culture Jesus would grow up in. God also chose the exact death He’d have His son endure. He knew the Romans were particularly proud of their horrific crucifixions, and God knew a naked, gruesome death on a wooden, rugged cross would get His point across: He loved His people so much He’d allow His very own son to suffer tremendously in order to spark our interest in Him.

Jesus came down knowing His purpose, keeping a humble mindset from the very  start. He knew He’d resurrect just three short says later. He knew He would reign forever and ever at the right hand of God. He knew He’d be coming through the clouds in all His glory to judge everyone on the Earth. Yet, He shrugged off His impressive future and focused on serving the undeserving people He was placed with.

Jesus could have easily come down to Earth as a mighty ruler, taking over every kingdom, smuggling away diamonds and jewels, and assembling an army of millions, yet He decided to do the unexpected. He assembled an army of only twelve, equipping them not with swords and horses but with knowledge and encouragement.

Only the true God of the universe would allow His closest companions to die painful deaths of beheading, hanging, and crucifixion. He knew what their eternal future held: a gorgeous room in His Heavenly kingdom far surpassing anything this world has to offer. Jesus isn’t impressed by this world, He knows how fleeting life is and how hollow fame and power are. He knows what’s awaiting His followers in Heaven, advising them not to cling to the meaningless things of this world. If Jesus thought there was any worth in Earthly glory, He would’ve given His disciples all the riches and joy this world could offer. But He knew Earth doesn’t do Heaven justice; Heaven lasts forever, it’s the dwelling place of God, and that is where our reward is held. Would you rather have four dollars right now or four hundred dollars in a month? Trust in God’s sovoreignty and grace because He is and we are not.

He has the entire world in His hands, yet He told His followers to take the lowest seat at weddings. 

Thursday, Aug 28, 2014

Phil 2:7

Instead, He gave up His divine privileges, He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being.

If you could choose one super power, what would it be? The ability to fly like Superman, run like the Incredibles, teleport like Jumper, become invisible like Harry Potter, bake like Maria? What if you could choose your genetic makeup, your parents, your hometown, your occupation, the amount in your wallet, whom you married? Unfortunately, we’re not given the ability to choose an imaginary power, what we look like, or whom we were born to. Although this can be seen as unfair, it makes each of us a unique part of Gods puzzle, each of us a patch on the quilt of Gods adopted children. But what if you could choose? What would you do? Who would you be?

Although we’re all dealt different hands at birth, there’s one who held the special key to choose. He chose every detail, choosing His parents, His friends, His looks, His wealth, His hometown, and even His superpowers. Who is it, you ask? Michael Jordan? Jay Z? Elvis Presley? No, the man able to choose His destiny was none other than Jesus Christ of Nazareth, a humble man born in an animal stable by lowly, young parents in a no-name small town with the job title of a carpenter. His closest friends smelled of fish, His followers came from brothels, and His stages consisted of street corners and dusty mountaintops.

Why did He choose this life? Why did He choose the superpower of healing street folk when He could have chosen elastic arms or laser vision? Why didn’t He hoard wealth, forcing everyone to fulfill His demands? Why didn’t He build the worlds greatest dynasty, creating a worldwide legacy for Himself with monuments, laws, and taxes? Why didn’t He sit on a golden throne, granting His every lust and desire?

The answer is simple: He didn’t come to please Himself. In fact, He didn’t think about Himself once, instead looking outward to the people and upward to His Father in Heaven. He used His years telling relatable parables to tax collectors, hugging street children, and eating dinner with those branded as “sinners.” Instead of teaming up with the city leaders, He put them to shame, shining light on their wicked practices and selfish thoughts. He died at the early age of 33, choosing a lonely, shameful death on a wooden cross in front of the entire capital city.

Had I been given the chance to decide my life, I shamefully would’ve chosen the body of Giselle, had trust find baby parents, attended prep school in Manhattan, had a personal chef and driver, and an invite to every party. Had Jesus chose to live in the twenty-first century, He would’ve been born on the East side of Los Angeles to a low-income single mother attending an overpopulated public school with a job as an electrician. He would’ve chosen a normal upringing with no hidden perks or shortcuts. He wouldn’t have placed Himself at a higher status than any other child, choosing to blend in until His appointed time to evangelize. Jesus puts the word humble to shame, Jesus couldn’t get any higher than being God or any lower than dying as a criminal from His own people.

i thought i gave up so much... did i sit in desert for 40 days and get offered bread and all riches of the world? uhh no

Phil 2:8

He humbled Himself in obedience to God and died a criminals death on the cross.

What’s the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to you? Did you drop a plate at a packed restaurant? Did you trip and fall in front of your entire math class? Did you ___? Jesus Christ came down from His Heavenly throne to bear the shame of the most embarrassing event one could endure. Did He trip down some stairs? Did He sing off key? Did He pee His pants in third grade? No, the King of all Kings came down to die a naked, lonely, excruciating death on a wooden cross, His hands nailed all the way through, His feet pinned together through the crusty nail, a crown of woven, piercing thorns... Jesus was also forced to carry His own cross all through the city, passing the religious leaders and government officials as they scoffed at Him from their mighty platforms. As Jesus was naked walking bloodied and scarred through the city, the Pharisee’s stood tall with their golden sceptors, purple robes, and jewels necklaces, spitting on Jesus and high-fiving each other for their prominence.

Jesus said nothing, instead choking back His tears, smiling empathetically at the women and children, and continued down the road to His destination of death. What do you think was going through Jesus’s mind? Was He hinking about how much He despised those who condemned Him? Was He depressingly feeling sorry for Himself? Was He curding His father in Heaven? No, Jesus was thinking of you and me. He thought about how 2,000 years from then a girl named Paige would live on the Earth, mess up a million times, and desperately need a savior. He knew I’d be chained down by the evil forces of this world with no way out. He knew my sins would separate me from my creator and need a way to walk in His presece. He knew I needed Him. 

Luke 17:7

“Suppose one of you has a servant who has been working in the field, plowing or caring for the sheep. When he comes in from work, what would you say to him? Would you say come in, sit down, and eat?”

When you go to a restaurant, a waiter comes over to ask for your order, bring your food, fill up your water, and clear your table. But what if you went to a restaurant and the roles were reversed? What if the waiter asked YOU to go back to the kitchen and bring him food? You’d leave the restaurant angry and confused. Jesus had the highest position in Heaven, living as the son of the creator of all. He sat on a beautiful jeweled throne with every blessing at His fingertips. If I was sitting in that seat, I’d soak up all the glory I could, asking my servants to style my hair, massage my feet, and prepare delicious plates of chicken tacos and refried beans. Yet, He did the unexpected: He sat up, walked away from His throne, and decided to be born of a humble modest woman and live a quiet life on Earth working as a carpenter. He eventually gathered a group of twelve men, telling them the biggest secret one could ever share. “Guess what, I’m God.” Jesus puts the word servant to shame. He was more than a servant, He was the humblest of the humble, the greatest to the lowest, Olympic gold to last place in little league. Jesus ditched His tremendous glory, His carriages in Heaven over the golden roads and the colors and sounds and lights. I sometimes think I’m great and mighty for telling my parents goodbye for three months, imagine saying goodbye to your father for 33 years! This passage leaves us with our jaws on the ground, our eye brows raised, and our brains in confusion. Yes, the creator of Heaven and Earth and the Sun and Pluto and Jupiter and Venus and Mars came down to Earth to encourage you and me. With that, the only proper response is to lay down our own desires and jump on the bandwagon of Christ. Jesus took off His glorious purple garments, golden chains, and shiny crown in Heaven to die a naked, lonely, painful death on His footstool of Earth. With that, how can we not praise Him!

Luke 17:9

victorious christian living by redpath

im not content with crumbs from gods table, i want the whole cake. i want everything god has to offer. i want to throw myself into him

1. Grace for the Good Girl - Emily Freeman 

2. Little House on the Prairie series - Laura Ingalls Wilder

3. The Left Behind series - Tim LaHay, Jerry Jenkins 

4. Tale of Two Cites - Charles Dickens 

5. Nancy Drew Mystery Series - Carolyn Keene 

6. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - J. R. Tolkien 

7. The Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis 

8. Counterfeit Gods - Tim Keller 

9. The Knowledge of the Holy - A.W. Tozer 

1. Emma - Jane Austen
2. A Wrinkle in Time
3. book about kids 12 and under alive and grocery store...

Acts 2:42

All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship and to sharing in meals, including the Lords supper and to prayer.

How miserable to live all week long looking forward to one thing: a crazy Friday night at the bars. So many young people in America hold the mindset that partying, drinking, drugs, and hooking up allows for an “ultimate release” from the hard work week. When I lived this lifestyle, I woke up after a night out always feeling the exact same; I was broken, hungover, ashamed, and more insecure than ever. I’d feel miserable and gross, knowing the previous night did the opposite of what I’d intended. I figured drinking and forgetting my actions would help me let go of my struggles, yet it only added to the pile. I lived my weeks with about three hours of joy, due to alcohol, instead of living with joy in every moment. I was a mess of guilt, knowing I was living a destructive life but not knowing any other way existed. I was going along with the college crowd, and I had no concept of what Jesus could do for me because, frankly, I didn’t know a single Christian. I have a heart for people lost in the party scene in America because I once fell victim. I didn’t have a church to help me, I had no youth pastor, I had no Christian friends, and my parents and swim coach didn’t seem to think college partying was abnormal. In fact, the school I went to encouraged partying, and I once saw my Spanish teacher at a party. My school had a shuttle titled the drunk bus, driving freshman from the dorms to frat row from 10 PM to 3 AM every night. My swim coach bragged about his days as a partier, laughing about the latest Jersey Shore episode asking for details on who hooked up with who on weekends. I didn’t even know a relationship with Jesus was possible, especially for someone with my resume. I continued down the lowly path of empty grabs at happiness. I’d kiss another boy, drink another shot, smoke another joint, do another keg-stand, wear a shorter dress, cake on more makeup, pre-grame with a new crowd. I’d pre-game with my friends, laughing and dancing about the “fun night” to come, secretly knowing most parties were busted and most bars led to dangerous fights. Girls spent their nights either dancing (or more) with boys they had just met or gossiping about how low someones skirt was or how trashy someones see-through midrift top was. Sin was rampant, and no good thing came from any drink I ever had, party I’ve been to, or boy I’ve kissed. No night led to peace; either the boy I liked danced with someone else or someone spilled beer on my dress or a friend was caught by the cops peeing outside the party or someone passed out and went to the hospital or the party got busted before I could walk in or I was screamed at for dancing with someones boyfriend or my fake ID was denied and I was stuck alone outside a nightclub. Earlier, I tried writing a list of all the parties I’d been to, and I realized there’s no way I could do it. My life was a tangled mess, just as many of the 3,000 in the crowd probably had a mess for a life. Yet, following their leaders’ teachings and breaking bread with the wise, God was able to pick them up, dust them off, and create a Picasso out of the splattered paint on the canvas of their lives. Praise God.

Acts 2: 43-44

A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had.

I don’t like to share. No so much in regards to clothes or hair products, but my heart. It’s tough living with this many people because I’m under a magnifying glass, and everyone in my Ignite class is fully capable of writing a novel about me. They know my weaknesses, they know my struggles, they know my insecurities. There’s no hiding when you share a room with three other girls and you live with fifty other people all under the same roof and it’s raining half the time so you can’t roam onto the yard. Before this program, I knew I was broken... I knew I had problems... but I never had to deal with them. I instead continued to shove them under the mat because I never let anyone get close enough to me that they’d pick up on some of my deep seeded struggles. I had a private bubble, not allowing anyone, including my own family, too close. I didn’t give God the opportunity to confront me of my sins because I rarely read my Bible and didn’t follow a consistent reading plan and put idols before God. I didn’t want to admit He was right because that meant I was wrong. I often thought God wasn’t as powerful as He claimed to be not because I believed it but because I didn’t want to have to hand over my broken heart because I knew it’d be painful for Him to reassemble. I polished the outside of my vase, leaving all the goop and broken pieces inside without ever giving God the chance to reach in and grab them. I desperately held onto this life and all my secret sins because I was too afraid to walk on the water. I love the Oceans song, claiming “you called me out upon the water...” I thought my calling was completed, I mean, I’d followed Him all the way to Guatemala. But that was only the start. The REAL calling He’s doing in my life is removing my skewed body image, my bitterness toward my dad, my insecurity thinking I’m not worthy of friends and that I’m constantly being judged and evaluated. Posing as a put together woman all through college, I was secretly harboring more insecurity and brokenness than I can begin to describe. I’m seeing just how many old pieces of gum are stuck on my heart. I always idolized getting married but how could I ever even think about getting married when my heart is shattered in a million pieces and is being held together by bandaids. I am nothing and have lived through much darkness and have been taken advantage of and thrown around like a ragdoll and I have never sat down to acknowledge what its done to me. I’m broken and need a mighty God to put me back together. God can create a Picasso out of the splattered paint on the canvas of my life.

They sold property and possessions to anyone who had need.

My family was decently well off growing up. We had a house, cars, clothes, money in the bank... yet we very rarely openly shared our possessions and wealth with those less fortunate. My parents held the mantra that they had worked hard to deserve what they had; they didn’t beleive tithing or giving was necessary. The believed it wasn’t fair to give something they’d aqcuired to someone else. Although they gave generous presents to family members, they rarely gave to others. That is, other than the story of the mini van. My parents had bought a new SUV with plans to get rid of the 6 year old purple mini van they had previously had. They had plans to sell the van, but my dad felt a sudden urge to give the van, free of charge, to a man named Bob whom my family knew. The man had two sons, and they were very poor without a car. My parents drove the van to Bob’s house and offered him the keys, only for Bob to share he hd literally just been on the floor crying to God for a new car. It’s crazy how God can use those whom don’t even openly serve Him to serve his people. Our possessions are not our own, and giving is much better than receiving (Acts 20).

Monday, August 11, 2014

1 Timothy 6: 6-8

Yet true Godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we bought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.

“Seven jeans, True Religion, I say no but they keep givin’.” Fergie, among others, loves to sing about designer labels and lavish lifestyles. In fact, in addition to partying and promiscuity, there’s little else found on Billboard’s Top 100. Artists boast driving Bugati’s, exclusive trips to Bora Bora, eating caviar by the spoonful and chugging champagne by the bottle. They drape themselves in Rolex watches, Gucci bags, Dolce belts.... the list goes on. They sing about pride, Keri Hilson being “sweeter than a swisher”; they rap about drug dependence, B.O.B. “waking up high as ****”; they brag about weapons, Akon rapping he’s a “sniper on a roof.”

Before coming to Christ, I’d blast these lies loud as anybody. Nothing better than cruising down Cali’s 101 on a warm Saturday night, sunroof down, jamming KISS FM’s music countdown heading to a club. I knew every word, every dance, and every artist. I’d seen all the music video’s, knowing exactly what each dirty line meant and loving it.

Jesus graciously handed me “God-goggles,” giving me insight into the harmful ways of my past. Hypothetically, I was running around with open scissors and not stopping to blink. I was a naive little fish, following the school and swimming along the wicked stream, friends at my side. I saw nothing wrong with my music, my actions, and my lifestyle. I was a “good kid,” not doing any “hard” drugs or dropping out of college, figuring I was fine. Who cares if I went to parties on weekends? Who cares if I went on lots of dates with boys? Who cares if my iPod was influenced by MTV? I was living the way I knew best, not wasting my youth sitting at home. I had the rest of my life to be boring, why start early?

Often, people assume Christians are lame. There’s nothing alluring or lavish about the Christian lifestyle, so young people aren’t initially attracted to the church. “Give up my partying, shopping addiction, and selfish ways? No thank you,” I’d think. Although Pepperdine University was a Christian school, I chose it for the pristine Pacific Ocean views and easy downtown LA access.

On Sunday, September 16, 2012, after a night of partying, Christ dropped the scales from my eyes. My views were dramatically changed in an instant, leaving my world turned upside-down. By His grace, I no longer desired an invite to a fancy club or having a cute boyfriend or the latest rap song on my iPod or eating at Hollywood’s new restaurant or window shopping on Rodeo. I had one purpose and one delight that none of the other’s could touch: knowing Christ. I traded my Saturday night party for a night of warm blankets, Frank Sinatra, hot tea, and a Bible.

As a two-year-old Christian, the flashing lights of the world can sometimes seem appealing, and I’m still occasionally invited for a night out. Although there’s a small temptation, deep down I know that world has no place for me. It is hallow; it is broken; and it is deceiving. The glamour and glitz is not what it seems, and I know a night with my Bible can give me more joy than sitting front row at the Oscars. I’ve found the Hidden Treasure, the reason to live, the brightest pearl, the juiciest fruit, and I don’t plan to trade it for anything.

Tuesday, August 11, 2014

Luke 3:14

“What should we do?” asked some soldiers. John replied, “Do not exhort money or make false accusations. And be content with your pay.”

My Magic Bullet blended perfect fruit smoothies; my Lauren Conrad bed-set kept me warm and cozy; my built-in car GPS kept me safe; Laguna Nails kept my color chip free. I’d say life before the mission-field was pretty nice! I had an abundance of fast-food joints in my town... “I’m Lovin’ It. Have It Your Way. Eat Fresh. Think Outside the Bun.” They were as easy as a five-minute drive. Hungry for chicken? Hit KFC. Feeling pizza? Dominoes on speed dial. Craving subs? Jimmy Johns delivers. 

Having attended college in Malibu, I was accustomed to fast-paced living. I’ve bumped shoulders with countless celebrities, driven past the latest Maserati model in every color, and interned at major modeling shoots and upscale parties. Many college peers came from prestigious families with easily recognizable last names of major corporations and parking next to a Lamborghini in our college lot was nothing to blink at; the abnormal was normal.

As an incoming sophomore transfer student, I was in shock. “People actually live this way? They really wake up to the Pacific Ocean? Celebrities actually shop at the Ralphs Market down the street?” I was in awe of the people at my school; “Brody Jenner actually kissed you? Your dad really owns that company? My lab partner is actually a Persian prince? You’re dating Mel Gibson’s son?” I was like a kid in a candy store, giddily learning more and more about my new California life.

After a few months, I started to get bored of paradise. I overlooked what I had once cherished, ignoring the magnificence of the blue ocean, the fancy houses, and the towering cliffs. It was no longer exciting driving through the famous Malibu canyon, and I rolled at eyes at star tour buses. I had grown almost completely numb.  Beautiful architecture or white sand beaches or celebrity sightings was no longer cool, it was just another part of my days. I took everything for granted, overlooking all the blessings I was given.

One of my dear friends has a large family, and they were planning to stay in the Presidential Suite of the Shutters Hotel, Santa Monica’s classiest resort. Since she’s from the Midwest, her family got hung up by snow and was coming a day later than the plan, and it was too late to cancel. My friend invited me and another girl to spend the night with her in the classiest hotel room I’d ever seen. There was a dining room, parlor, office, sitting room, two bedrooms, three bathrooms, and two balconies. It was overlooking the Santa Monica pier with the best view in town. The suite easily cost well, well above $1,000 a night, and I (by the grace of my generous friend) was staying in it for free! On top of that, I was given the master suite while the other two took the guest suite. The bathroom was as big as my apartment back in Malibu, and I took full advantage of everything available. I drew a huge bubble bath, turned a movie on the bathroom television, and ate the free snacks that had awaited our arrival from the dining room. The bathroom necessity basket was massive, full of every salon product I could ever need, from hand exfoliator to eyebrow pencils to ankle buffers. After having my fun in the bathroom, I snuggled into my Egyptian cotton King Sized bed and fell asleep to the sound of crashing waves.

After room service pancakes the next morning, I hopped in my car, drove the 20 minutes back to school, and was in class by 8 AM. I lived my day as if it was no different than any other, forgetting about the incredible night I’d had, instead thinking about the next extravagant adventure I’d embark on, the next cool restaurant I’d try, the next beach I’d explore.

As I lay in bed the following night, it hit me how selfish my thinking was. How could I overlook such a special gift of staying in a first-class Penthouse? Had I really fallen so low that nothing impressed me? Was I Malibu Barbie brainwashed?

Praying for humbleness, I began counting my blessings as if I was seeing everything with a new light. I asked God to rekindle the wonder and amazement I’d once had as a newbie Cali girl, and He graciously answered my prayer. Being not only content but amazed at what God blesses you with is essential, and my days in Malibu made that very clear.

In 2 Samuel 7, God says “I have always moved from one place to another with a tent as my dwelling... I have never once complained or asked ‘Why haven’t you built me a beautiful cedar house?’” Breaking down the word content, the word ‘tent’ stands out. God was content living in a tent, yet I wasn’t grateful sleeping in L.A.’s finest suite. Who am I to have higher standards than my creator, God? God calls us to live free of idols, keeping a humble heart and mindset of a servant. Living in Guatemala, the Lord has graciously been helping me find contentment in every situation. Through His eyes, I can see my home here as the Taj Mahal. With Christ, I can bear all things, knowing I have a home in Heaven’s palace. With a promise like that, who needs a Penthouse?

Wednesday, August 12, 2014

Hebrew 13:5

Don’t love money, be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you; I will never abandon you.”

A warm bread basket with olive oil, sides of both shrimp tartar with avocado and buttered mussels, two entree’s of surf n’ turf with mashed potatoes and broccolini, and a freshly baked apple cheesecake with vanilla bean ice cream to split. The couple had been dating a little over a year, and the man, a strong, confident gentleman with brown bushy hair and a light beard, had treated his girlfriend, a tall but quiet woman of twenty-five, to the new French restaurant she’d been dying to try, holding one question in his mind: Will you be my bride?

He was anxious to pop to question, doing his best to wipe away the dribble of sweat above his upper lip, trying to keep as calm as possible to ask once desert was served. He’d had the ring in his pocket for months, having known the second he laid eyes on her she was the one. Her gentleness, servant’s heart, and femininity set her on a standard much higher than any girl he’d known, wanting to officially call her his own with all his might.

The woman was relaxed, not usually drinking alcohol but deciding to order a small glass of white wine to compliment the meal. She loved him with all her heart, loving his masculinity, his scruffy beard, his confident attitude, his protective nature. She loved his active lifestyle, his selfless ways, the way he treated his mother and sisters. Although tough, his heart was soft, unlike the insecure men she’d dated in college. She felt at peace in his presence, loving him with a pure love she couldn’t put into words.

Once the desert was finally placed between the rose flowers and burning candles, he knew it was time. He pulled back his chair, sat on one knee, and leaned into her ear. “I never knew I could love anyone this way. My love for you is brigher than radiant emeralds, larger than Niagara Falls, wider than African plains, longer than the Nile River, taller than Mount Everest. I can’t live my life without you at my side... Will you be my beloved forever and ever by taking my hand in marriage? In turn I’ll support your dreams, care for you always, and place you before myself every single day. Be my bride and make me the luckiest man on Earth.”

With this, the woman burst into tears. She’d waited months to hear those words, yet she knew deep inside it wouldn’t work. She knew he couldn’t love her if he knew the truth. If he knew her deepest, darkest secret. She knew it would be over with no chance of rekindling.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Don’t you love me? Did I do something wrong? Honey, what happened?” Looking to him, eyes red and bleary, her lips quivered as she unlaced the covering of her hidden past. As a college student, she had a problem. She struggled with insecurity, finding peace in just one thing: retail. She shopped, shopped, and shopped some more. Having come from a modest, middle-class home, she didn’t have the money or resources to buy the clothes, purses, and accessories she’d acquired. Being upset at herself, she continued the cycle, buying and buying and buying, charging it all to her Visa with no clue of how to pay off the building debt. The damage was awful: the overall bill of her addiction well over one hundred thousand dollars, gaining more and more interest with each passing year.

She’d been working hard as a teacher, doing her best to work on the debt, but it was hopeless. She knew it was weighing over her like a dark cloud, the charges sky-rocketing each year, and she knew she could never pay it off. It darkened her every moment, pounding sadness into her heart like a stone hammer. She loved this man, but with fear of losing him had never gained the confidence to share the secret. She felt disgusting, she felt broken, and she felt hopeless. Sure, he loved her, but how could she allow him to take on this burden? He could find a million girls like her, why would he marry her knowing what he’d have to take on?

After sharing about her brokenness, she nervously shut her eyes, knowing it was over. She knew he’d get up, walk out, and never look back. She knew he’d be furious. She knew her wrongs could never be repaid, both figuratively and literally. It was done, and she knew it.

Opening her eyes, she expected an empty floor, but what she saw astonished her. His smile stretched ear to ear, and his arms were outstretched toward her small body. “Honey, there is nothing you could say that could ever change my mind. My darling, my sweet sweet gem, I have a secret as well. My father’s company is not the small business I always described. My baby, it’s a multimillion dollar retail operation. My father probably does contracting with the very stores you owe money to, and I’m being given the reigns to the company once I finish my masters this year. My future is brighter than you could’ve ever guessed, and you will be a part of it. I love you to the moon and back, and no secret of yours will ever undo it.”

With that, the woman jumped out of her seat, clung to his outstretched arms, and the rest is history. They lived a long, beautiful life together, paying off the debt in a matter of weeks without ay talk of it again. Her chains were gone, she’d been set free, and she lived a life of freedom thereafter.

As a woman of Christ, I my story was no different. Instead of retail therapy, I turned to a weight obsession, boy attention, a party lifestyle, and acceptance of others as my idols. Before knowing Prince Jesus, I was a wreck, trying my best to shake away my debt but failing time and time again.

Becoming a Christian is no different than accepting a marriage proposal. Like the man in the story, Jesus had a father in Heaven with ultimate supremacy, able to wipe away our past without blinking an eye. We can trust His invitation is final; Christ would never and will never turn His back on us. He is faithful to the end, and we will never be anything but beautiful in His eyes. Instead of shrinking back in shame, He places a gown on our body, a crown on our head, and a 5 carat ring on our finger. We are the one, true bride of Christ, and our past, present, or future wrongs won’t ever change that. “I will never leave you, I will never abandon you,” Christ says in Hebrews, and with tears of joy in His eyes, He means it.

:)

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Luke 21: 19: By standing firm, you will win your souls.

Looking back at life thus far, I didn’t achieve the perfect fantasy I held as nonbeliever. I figured I’d be working at Bolthouse Productions, engaged to a wealthy stud, and living in a Santa Monica ocean-front. I’d belong to Equinox gym and have a tab at SoulCycle and order carry-out Nobu sushi every weeknight. I’d have VIP access at the Roosevelt rooftop parties and start my morning’s rollerblading the boardwalk with a cute puppy and win my age-division in the LA Marathon and be thin as a rail with hair down to my back-end. My life would be effortless and wonderful.

I planned various dreams and aspirations to achieve, setting high worldly standards without a thought of the Lord. But, once I came to Christ, my view of God changed. God is not a harsh, judging criticizer; Instead, He’s a loving Father and Friend. Seeing His love and mercy, I handed Him the reigns of my life, trusting He knew better than I where I belonged. I shook away lofty goals and trusted His caring provision, knowing I could trust the creator of the universe.

I handed Him my life on a silver platter, allowing Him to have His way with me, finding this to be the most life-changing decision I could ever make. The Lord has a bit of a sense of humor, choosing me of all people to be a missionary. If someone was to tell my twenty-year old non-Christian self where I’d be in two years, I would’ve laughed in their face. “Me? Go to Guatemala? With no Starbucks or internet? Not in a million years!” But, after accepting His love and trusting His guidance, He’s changed my desires and led me down roads I never thought possible.

Instead of living as a business-woman after graduation, I packed up my bags, kissed family and friends goodbye, and set off for a year-long missions school in Antigua, Guatemala to eat, sleep, and live life with forty likeminded people. I traded fleshly desires of success in replacement for a servant lifestyle, meanwhile taking a dating hiatus in faith the Lord will lead me to the right match.

Although its only been three weeks, God has shattered my perception of reality in replacement for authentic wisdom. He’s given me insight on what life is truly about, gently taking my quivering hand and laying me in His lush, green pastures.

Reading the Word, I often wondered why God says He’s our shepherd and we’re His sheep. Why wouldn’t He say we’re baby dolphins swimming after a whale? Or dogs looking to an owner? The reason is simple: sheep are not smart animals, known for aimlessly following each other and getting into trouble. Sheep have no means of defense against wolves and lions, making them helpless and constantly fearful.

Two years ago, I was a fearful sheep. I thought I knew what was best for me; I thought I knew exactly what I needed in life. Finding Christ,I saw how much of a scam my dreams really were. Even if I had achieved all those goals, I’m positive I still would’ve felt discontent and restless. I’d be constantly worrying; whether it be that my fiance would leave me or boss would fire me. With Christ as my shepherd, I have nothing to fear, knowing He’ll place me exactly where I belong. He tells me to cast my burdens on His shoulders and be anxious for nothing, but in everything pray and trust His Word.

I may not live the high-life I once dreamt, but I know this much: I’ve never felt as much peace as I do right now, laying in a bunk bed in Central America. Through His guidance, I know there’s nowhere else I should be.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Colossians 1: 11

We pray you’ll be strengthened with all His glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy.

Being a chocolate fan, it’s hard for me to find a piece that doesn’t satisfy my sweet tooth. I love dark chocolate, white chocolate, and milk chocolate. I love chocolate made with marshmallows, chocolate made with almonds, and chocolate made with graham crackers. Admittedly, I’m a self-proclaimed chocoholic.

Recently, I stepped into a chocolate shop with high hopes. The smell of the warm, freshly poured chocolate from the women behind the counter was enough to lure anyone within a mile of the store. They had free samples for each of their chocolates, and I helped myself to a few of the delights. The honey drizzled milk chocolate was fantastic, the dark macademia nut was incredible, and the white chocolate almond butter cup was out of this world.

At this point, I was on a roll. I couldn’t wait to try their two signature items, the milk chocolate orange zest roll and the dark chili chocolate. I had never tried chocolate with dried orange or chocolate with spice, and my mouth was watering. I knew I would absolutely love them both. I had to, since I had yet to find a chocolate I didn’t love. Every new piece I try becomes my new favorite!

Picking up the orange zest sample, I slowly bit into the fresh-baked slice. Smiling as I chewed, my face slowly formed a frown. What was happening? Why wasn’t I enjoying this little treasure in my hand? Where was that euphoric feeling I usually get? Why didn’t I gleefully pop the rest into my mouth?

I was in shock. Never having tasted chocolate I didn’t like, I finally met my match. Reaching for the spicy chocolate, I figured their other signature item could redeem thee odd mishap. Similarly, I ate half and politely set the rest in a napkin, commenting I liked it but was no longer hungry. Confused, I paid for a box of dark chocolate truffles and left the store.

What was wrong with me? Didn’t chocolate make everything taste good? Heck, I’d even liked chocolate bacon! I learned to accept how all chocolate is not made equally, some are scrumptious and some are not.

From the day we’re born, we’re basically handed a box of assorted Godiva’s. Each day brings a different flavor, and we’re never certain which type of chocolate new days bring. Upon waking, we wonder, will today be sunny or gloomy? Will people treat me well? Will my hair cooperate? Will I feel cherished, loved and adored, or ignored, lonely, and stepped on?

Becoming a Christian doesn’t lead to a life of constant rainbows and butterflies. We’re still human and will struggle. Waking this morning, my nose was runny, my stomach was upset, and the shower was cold. Feeling down, I went into devotional time with a bad attitude but was soon at peace. But, after reading bout the crucifixion, I had a completely different attitude. If Jesus could give up everything for me, I could deal with my minor ills.

I realized joy is a choice. Through all my hurts, I can keep a smile on my face because I have something eternal to hope for: a awaiting room in Heaven. It doesn’t matter what my day brings; I have enough reason to smile as anybody! Jesus is my Savior and loves me regardless of how my stomach may feel. Through Christ, we no longer need to base emotions off our circumstances. With that to rejoice for, bring on the chocolate! 

Thursday, Aug 6, 2014

Rev 1:9:

I, John, am your brother and your partner in suffering and in God’s Kingdom and in the patient endurance to which Jesus calls us. I was exiled to the island of Patmos for preaching the Word of God and for my testimony about Jesus.

Strawberry daiquiri in a coconut; smooth, white sand; tall, overhanging palm tree’s; a bright blue ocean... island life is a breeze. Through childhood, my family and I packed up, left the States, and jetted off on a Caribbean getaways annually. We’d leave our worries behind, packing magazines, earphones, and bathing suits, excited about a week of being seriously unserious.

What if you were to spend time on an island? Pretty gnarly, right? After all, we could all use a week of pampering! Maybe you’d splurge on a hot stone massage at a spa, hit local boutiques for trendy bikini’s, or grab some mango sorbet at a cute parlor. Maybe you’d rent a jet ski, parasail over the water, or take a surf lesson. There’s hardly a shortage of activities on the islands. With luxurious resorts offering endless amenities and restaurants to satisfy every palette, it’s hard not to have a good time.

In Revelation 1:9, John explains he was banished to the island of Patmos for his faith in Jesus. Not bad, right? A time of recharging, laying in a hammock, and a drink in hand sounds pretty nice, eh? Hardly. Our idea of island time is relaxing and beautiful, but 2,000 yeas ago, things were different. John was cold, alone, and ultimately executed on the island in a horrific way, yet there’s no doubt he held faith while enduring all hardships. He gladly went to the miserable island, knowing soon he’d be somewhere far greater: the island of Heaven.

Revelation promises streets made of pure gold, as well as a shiny, clear sea sparkling like crystal. There’ll be jasper and carnelian gemstones and pearls and jewels galore. John couldn’t fathom the luxuries and splendor awaiting him, knowing nothing anyone said or did would change his ultimate, eternal inheritance.

Having lived in Malibu the last three years, I knew I was living in one of the most beautiful locations in the world. I had to pinch myself every day knowing how blessed I was, living in such a gorgeous place. Yet, many of the rich and famous I bumped shoulders with seemed constantly down and miserable. Although they had everything, they felt they had nothing. They spend upwards of $20,000 a night on retreats like Necker Island or St. Bart’s, yet they leave feeling just as empty as before. Their hope is in this world, not in the next. They don’t understand the glories awaiting those who believe in Jesus and don’t see how Heaven’s paradise puts Earth to shame. I have yet to find an island bug free with constant sunshine and golden roads and a crystal sea, but I know I’ll see one the second I hit Heaven.

John was exiled to Patmos because he refused to stop preaching the Good News. Many Americans don’t face persecution to this extent, yet sometimes it’s still easy to share God’s Word with others. America has a “don’t ask, don’t tell” mindset with religion, and many lack the courage to boldly step out with confidence. Feeling personally convicted, I have to ask myself: if I hesitate to share God’s Word during easy times, how will I do during times of persecution?

Bible Studies

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Hebrews 11:6

“It is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to Him must believe that God exists and that He rewards those who sincerely seek Him.”

Faith is the key element to our relationship with God. Going to Him in confidence that He’ll answer is the only way to approach Him, trusting that He’s a good Father who wants to bless us. As a fairly new Christian, the Lord has been disciplining me, building a strong foundation of good morals that I can carry with me forever. Because of that, it hurts to trust His whispers when it’s contrary to what I want. He’s been ripping away idols like bandaids, causing an initial shock but a quick recovery.

The Lord only wants our best, and blessings follow obedience. When Abraham was told to leave his native country, (Gen. 12) he was promised a grand inheritance. I can imagine it was tough to pack up and immigrate to the unknown, but following the Lord’s call is the only way to true peace.

God is in control of the entire universe, meaning we can trust He knows where we’ll best grow. The Lord see’s our lives as one large snapshot; He alone understands how today’s struggles turn into tomorrow’s smiles.

Making major decisions with our wavering minds leads to heartache, failure, and hurt dreams. Through the Lord’s guidance, we are offered a path leading directly to Heaven. Although trials and tribulations are many, God’s strength is far greater than human strength, and I’d much rather go through a struggle walking in God’s plan than live an easy life following the evil one. Satan keeps people in a cozy, padded jail cell. The door is wide open, yet people find the cell comfortable and stay put. At the end of time, the pads are removed, their arms are chained, and the door is shut. Outside the door is true life, but walking out the door takes trust and confidence. Through faith, we are called to leap out the door without a glance backwards, offered a spacious, free life!

The Word shares how living the Christian lifestyle is not an easy walk, and Jesus serves as the primary example to the hardships of following God. But, through all the trials, we are assured that trusting in the Almighty does lead to grand rewards, both in this lifetime and Heaven’s paradise.

Through persistent prayer and fasting, our relationship with the Lord can be one of complete dependence. Trusting Him is the single most important decision any human can make; union with the creator is essential. Accepting His call, trusting His judgement, and holding tightly to the Spirit gives us new eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to love.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Galatians 5:22-23

“The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!”

As Christians, the Lord hasn’t left us alone. He’s graciously given us the Holy Spirit to serve as a helper and encourager along the path of life. Once the Spirit has entered our hearts, we become a new creation, and our old self is buried. The Spirit holds the characteristics of Christ: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Through our newfound union with God, these traits are freely offered to us throughout our entire lives. The Holy Spirit pumps His grace into our veins, supercharging us to serve through the enlightening wonders we possess. The fruit of the spirit acts as a tool-belt for life, and gaining its council far exceeds any inspiration books found in Barnes and Noble.

Having the Spirit means we no longer have to rely on our fleshly, swaying minds. The Lord is the creator of the galaxies, this Earth, and most importantly: you. Because of that, we rest-assured that asking the Spirit to guide our decisions fans our flame of righteousness. The Spirit allows us to laugh without fear of tomorrow, knowing we have something greater lighting our path. The door of freedom is opened, and we can skip freely through the light of Jesus, darkness free.

Forks in the road don’t bother those engulfed by the Spirit; instead, they’re led where they were predestined to go. The Spirit kills all selfish, lustful desires, breaking every prior stronghold Hell had on us, and our bondage is broken forevermore. The love Christ had towards His children was un-comprehensible, and we’re told that the same love now lives in our hearts. Through His love, the world is our oyster; nothing holds us back!

The Lord’s joy is oozing out of our actions, rewarding us in various ways. By using our joy-tool from the spiritual tool belt, we kindle the smile of a child, the laugh of a friend, or a hug from a loved one. The peace of God we’re given is said to surpass all understanding, equipping us to live stress-free. Anxiety is overcome! The Spirit molds us to be kind, willingly turning the other cheek through attack. The goodness of God shields all arrows by the Devil, and His faithfulness opens our ears to His daily whispers. The trait of gentleness provides encouragement to walk against the grain in a crude society. Self-control gives us dominion over Satan, offering a way out of addicting and lustful living.

As a woman of faith, I recognize the need to refill my tank with the Spirit regularly. Only the Lord can provide these fruits to supercharge me every morning in order to live a set-apart life. Starting as a small apple tree, our dependence on the Lord can morph us into an entire orchard. Asking the Spirit to enter my being every morning is essential for my character to match that of the Lord Jesus.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Acts 8:15-16

As soon as they arrived, they prayed for these new believers to receive the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit had not yet come upon any of them, for they had only been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.

Peter and John left their home of Jerusalem with the intent of laying hands on the the new believers to solidify the group’s faith and baptize them with the Holy Spirit. The believers, which were many, were not all purebred Jews, yet Peter and John recognized the Lord’s equal love for all. Peter and John didn’t see a difference between Gentiles and Jews, as all people are created by and for God. The duo knew that baptizing the group with the Spirit would motivate them to stay strong in the faith through hardships.

In my own life, I sometimes look at people and think, “there’s no way they could ever become a Christian.” I see them drinking, smoking, and partying, and I find myself sticking my nose up at their ignorance. I see teen girls idolizing relationships and compromising their bodies. I saw people cheating on their college finals without a second thought. I see people bowing to false idols in sad adoration. Meanwhile, I’m forgetting that I was recently living that same life. If someone had met me before Jesus became my Lord and Savior, they would never have pinned me a future Christian. I was lost without much hope to be found, proving how real and big the miracles of God can be.

I have a lot of non-Christian friends, and I find I doubt the power of God, thinking they could never find true faith. Because of that, I’m sometimes hesitant to invite them to church, mention an upcoming Bible study, or bring up the Lord. I’m nervous they’ll judge me or persecute me for my faith, and I’m paralyzed in worries that if they saw my faith they’d pin me a Jesus freak.

I must be more open to the saving power of God and remember God actually created these friends of mine, knitting them together in their mother’s womb and planning their lives before their parents even had their first date! Inside every heart lies a desire to know the Lord; everyone wants union with their maker whether it’s conscious thinking or not. Therefore, I should be confident in my walk with Christ and translucent with the change He’s done in my life. Why would any of my friends be attracted to Christianity if I’m hesitant to share it?

Accepting Christ is like having an Abercrombie model as a prom date. You can’t help but show them off and introduce them to everyone! In the same way, I should introduce the saving work of Jesus Christ to everyone I know! Why on Earth would I want to keep the key to eternal life to myself? This is kingdom come! The gates to Heaven are wide open, and all are invited in! Come one, come all!

Peter and John were not hesitant to spread the saving power of the Gospel with all who would listen, serving as an example for Christians throughout eternity. In the same way, I need an open heart to show other’s His grace.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Matthew 6:30-34

And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? Don’t worry about these things, saying ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

As a human, and especially as a girl, I worry about things. I worry my hair’s too thin, my nail polish is always chipped, and that the pimple which decided to take residence on my chin two years ago won’t take a hint it’s not welcome. Daydreaming, I tend to veer toward worldly thoughts, using a microscope to analyze my calorie intake, how many designer pieces are in my closet, and the amount of friends writing on my Facebook wall.

During one of Jesus’s sermons, He shares how worries of this world are pointless as we’ll soon be in eternity with the Lord forever. Because Jesus died for our all our past, present, and future sins, we have nothing to fear! As a daughter of the King of the universe, I should be bothered by nothing!

Satan is a master deceiver, trying his best to distort my thought process so I focus on my outward appearance. When I’m in line at the market I see magazines boasting “Five Ways to Shed Pounds,” telling me I need to be thin to be worthy. I turn on television to see all the women having perfect hair and makeup. I hear advertisements about the the latest diets, be it raw or Paleo, explaining my eating habits need to change.

Unlike the smoke and mirrors of the world, the Lord’s wisdom is no fad. It’s the same as it was 2,000 years ago; He’s teaching me to put down the Cosmo and pick up His word!

How great to know our Father in Heaven loves us because of our hearts, not our looks? Finally, the chains of society can be broken, and we can live freely! Living as a missionary in Guatemala, my hair isn’t styled, I’m makeup free, and my wardrobe is based on comfort and modesty. My food intake is different, as well; my new rice and beans diet is far from Paleo. But, instead of being worried about my body, I’m finally at peace, knowing my worth is not wrapped up in my day-to-day appearance and meals. I’ve never felt this beautiful and free in my entire life because the Lord is where I place my worth.

By giving Him every area of our lives, we don’t have to live as prisoners to society. Worrying we’re too fat, thin, tall, or short is all worthless, and soon we’ll all have new bodies in the presence of God. This life is a passing wind, and through His help I don’t have to waste it worrying about myself.

Monday, July 28, 2014

James 3:13-17

If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth by boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are Earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.

Preaching the Gospel is done best without words. Leaving flowers for a loved one, holding the hand of a child, or grabbing Starbucks for co-workers all portray the Christian lifestyle. As followers of Christ, we’re called to be salt of the Earth, leaving everyone with a thirst for Jesus.

Before I accepted the Lord, I was turned off by some “Christians” I knew. Instead of being loving and kind, I felt a shadow of judgement. Being in their presence left me shameful and broken, giving me a mindset I didn’t deserve to be a Christian because I didn’t match up. I idolized boyfriends, begged acceptance from others, and ignored the teachings of the Bible because, frankly, I had never read it! Instead of feeling welcomed, I felt judged and ashamed. If God’s followers didn’t accept me, why on Earth would God accept me? I was a lost cause, on a path of destruction with no way out.

After year’s of living without Jesus as my savior, the Lord began to tap at my heart. He told me I was beautiful despite my mistakes; He told me I was His darling daughter; He told me He had majestic plans awaiting. He graciously poured His spirit into my heart even though I had been spitting in His face all throughout my life.

As Christians, we’re representatives of Christ, living temporarily in this world but holding our true citizenship in Heaven. Therefore, we’re called to minister to everyone through a loving, nonjudgemental heart. In church, we’re called to much more than “coffee and donuts” fellowship. We should form a close-knit community and safe haven to encourage and motivate each other on the path to righteousness all throughout the week. Likewise, we should pour into non-believers, spreading the name of Jesus with everyone, be it the barista at Starbucks making a latte or the local librarian scanning  books. We have the words of eternal life; why keep salvation a secret?

Psalm 90:12

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Trillions of people have lived and died on this Earth. Why, then, do I live with the mindset that my life will last forever? Going about daily tasks, I tend to drudge along, mindlessly living a routine without so much as a thought it’ll end someday. Because I live as if I’m eternally on Earth, I rarely ask the Lord to work radically in my life on a day-to-day basis.

Jesus knew from birth exactly when He would die on the cross. As much as five year old Jesus could comprehend the idea of execution, He knew it was His destiny. He knew He would faithfully serve His father as a carpenter until age thirty and have exactly three years to change the world forever through His teachings and miracles.

His life was anything but ordinary, performing miracles right and left to shake the foundations of the world. Jesus knew He didn’t have much time, placing ministry before His meals and rest. Knowing the importance of spreading the Good News, He used His life as an offering for others.

We’re told to follow His lead. As a young woman, I shouldn’t act as if I’ll live forever. Instead, I should live as if I’ll die tomorrow! Placing others before myself, following the calls of Jesus, and serving the church should be my only priorities, placing my physical appearance and personal status in the back-seat of my mind.

As a non-believer, my thoughts were consumed with selfishness, and I thought the world revolved entirely around me. I was obsessed with keeping a slim figure, holding straight A’s, keeping my boyfriend happy, having a pretty Facebook picture, and driving the nicest car. My identity was wrapped up in how other’s perceived me; Heaven forbid they may have thought I had any weaknesses. And, although my life may have seemed put-together on the outside, it was hard for me to fall asleep at night due to worrying about keeping up my artificial social standing. I lived entirely for myself and upholding my facade.

As a new believer and student in a Guatemalan missions school, the Lord has opened my eyes to the tremendous amount of need in the world, especially in downtown Antigua. I’ve seen young boys serving as shoe shiners and young girls caring for their infant siblings. I’ve seen tired women sitting next to a dump holding out a styrofoam cup. I’ve seen homeless men literally cry asking for a slice of bread.

As the greatest man who ever stepped foot on the Earth, Jesus was never too busy for anyone. He came to serve the lost, broken, sick, and undeserving, and not once does the Bible mention Jesus worrying about His reputation, weight, or carpentry skills. He used every waking moment to further His message, leaving everyone He met wide-eyed and wanting more.

Wednesday, July 29, 2014

Psalm 111:10: Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey His commandments will grow in wisdom. Praise Him forever!

As humans, we look far and wide searching for the meaning of life. We travel the world exploring obscure villages and far-away countries. We pay upwards of two-hundred grand for an education and place all our marbles in the hands of professors. We push ourselves to read more, study more, and listen more in hopes of achieving the supreme knowledge we strive for.

As a freshman in college four years ago, I held the mindset college would prepare me for life. I figured I’d graduate with a head full of knowledge ready to take on the world. I thought four years in a reputable institution would open the gates of wisdom for a life of adventure and clarity.

Looking back, I now see life experience and academic knowledge alone will not lead to wisdom. We need to acknowledge God as the source of wisdom in order to build a solid foundation to make wise decisions. Without the fear of God, my thought process was shaky, and I was prone to foolish decisions. Allowing the Lord to discipline me is the only way to real peace.

The world’s artificial knowledge is far different than God’s real wisdom. As a non-believer attending college in Los Angeles, I thought I was living the “high life.” I had bumped shoulders with celebrities at bars, dance clubs, and parties; my friends and I drove nice cars; I dated attractive, wealthy guys. From the world’s eyes I should’ve been on cloud nine. If worldly wisdom was true, why wasn’t I feeling euphoric?

Once I accepted Christ two years ago, the scales fell from my eyes and I began to see my life for the sham it really was. Looking inside myself with God-goggles, I saw how insecurity and lonesomeness clothed my heart.

The Lord stripped away my identity in the world, advising me to find my identity in Him alone. He told me to throw out the magazines, pick up His Word, and treasure each verse to build up true character. He taught me to throw out the “bitter fruit” and replace it with His fruit of the Spirit. He told me to re-evaluate my friend group, convicting me with Proverbs 1:10 warning to “turn your back on sinners that entice.”

Having recently graduated, I see how becoming a Christian made me far wiser than all my other classes combined. Unlike Earthly knowledge, the wisdom of God doesn’t fade. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and human-sparked fads go in and out of style. 

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Colossians 3:16

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.

Before coming to Christ, my life was broken, disheveled, and confusing. I had no direction, no purpose, and no concrete goals. Frankly, I was a lost cause, unsure of where I belonged or why I was here. I was living for myself, ignoring the needs of others and finding my worth in what others perceived about me. I didn’t stand for anything, meaning I fell for everything, lost in the maze of life with no way out. I was giving my heart away piece by piece hoping for a sense of love in return.

Once I came to Christ and joined a church, everything changed. My friends changed, my wardrobe changed, and my personality changed. By the grace of God, I found a small, close-knit church, and they welcomed me with open arms.

Although we met in an elementary school gym, I could truly feel the presence of the Lord. It didn’t matter that our worship wasn’t professional and our seats weren’t always filled.

Often, people are drawn to churches because of the worship concerts, massive congregations, and fancy facilities. In the early church, people were attracted because they saw the saving power of Christ through miracles and testimonies. Sometimes Christians and churches are so focused on looking fancy and put together that they lose the real focus: Jesus.

Through the women at my church, they poured wisdom into me and gave me a thankful heart. The pastor knew us each individually, and we’d have potlucks and study-nights at each others’ houses. ..

Friday, August 1, 2014

James 1:5

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He’ll give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

Why does God tell us He’s like a shepherd and we’re His sheep? Why wouldn’t He say we’re baby dolphins swimming after our father? Or dogs looking to our owner? The reason is simple: sheep are not smart animals, known for aimlessly following each other and getting into trouble. Sheep have no means of defense against wolves and lions, making them helpless and constantly fearful.

The Lord has been gracious by giving me wisdom over these last three weeks on the mission field. I’ll admit, it’s been painful, and it feels like bandaids are being ripped away one by one. But, in the end, it leaves me clean and healed. The Lord created every subject, be it mathematics, science, languages, astronomy... He knows everything. The Lord is the creator of all the Heavens and the Earth, knowing how the birds fly in the air and the deer gather their food. Through the Lord’s grace, we can have our eyes and ears opened to His immense glory. Wisdom starts at the fear of God, and without asking for His wisdom we’ll never achieve true peace and understanding.

Once I came to Christ and joined a church, everything changed. My friends changed, my wardrobe changed, and my personality changed. By the grace of God, I found a small, close-knit church, and they welcomed me with open arms. Although we met in an elementary school gym, I could truly feel the presence of the Lord. It didn’t matter that our worship wasn’t professional and our seats weren’t always filled. So often, people are drawn to churches because of the worship concerts, massive congregations, or fancy facilities. In the early church, people were attracted because they saw the saving power of Christ through miracles and testimonies. Sometimes Christians and churches are so focused on looking fancy and put together that they lose the real focus: Jesus.

The Lord is a good God who wants to bless us with His wisdom. Over these last 3 weeks, I’ve been both hesitant and excited to allow Him entrance into my heart. Although it hurts to hand over my identity, it’s ultimately for the best. Jesus is all I need, and as long as I can know that deep in my heart, I can be at peace. I plan to ask the Lord to give me a transparent heart through His wisdom instead of my own fallible worldly lies I thought was wisdom.

Monday,  Aug 4, 2014

Luke 8: 11-15

The mouth is a powerful thing. With one slip up, we have power to say words to pierce companions deeper than a two-edged sword. In contrast, keeping thoughts and actions in line with the Gospel leads to glorifying words free of darkness.

Words start at the heart, and when I’m not aligned with the Lord, my physical words and actions follow suit. Living in Guatemala with forty others, I can sometimes have selfish thoughts: “I” need the last scoop of peanut butter. “I” need more time in the bathroom. “I” need to use the phone. So often I’m caught up in me, me, me, thinking of my personal needs and holding myself on a pedestal.

Sad as it sounds, America revolves around selfishness, and magazine titles serve as examples of the troubled times. First Our Stars, then Us Weekly, and now Self Magazine. It’s all about us, and we’re not ashamed to flaunt it. 

Living with my new spiritual family in Guatemala, I’m training myself to untangle the ugly web of lies society taught me. Before arriving three weeks ago, I had my own room, car, phone, and time. I wasn’t told what to do or eat or wear, resulting in a prideful ego well over the roof.

Funny as it is, Americans may have immense freedom, able to do and say whatever, yet they’re desperately craving a savior. Names of latest stores and fads prove it: True Religion, Soul Cycle, Salvation, Free People, All Saints... executives on Wall Street are not fools; they see a yearning for God, using it to their advantage.

As Christians, we’re called to be set apart from selfish ambitions of society. In  Luke 8, Jesus instructs to keep “fertile soil” in actions and thoughts, free of thorns and thistles. Reading this, I tend to think I’ve mastered Christianity; surely I must be good soil, right?

Thinking further, who am I to assume my soil is fertile? Are the plants I’m producing always tall, bright, and colorful? Are there any withering leaves? Is my fruit ripe and juicy, and have I matured to completion?

At harvest-time, I want the Lord to choose me, noticing my bright colors and strong stem; I pray He’ll store me in His barn and use me for pies and jams.

To become an orchard, it’s crucial I pick out weeds at their root every morning. Every ill-thought, temptation, or word sparks a new thistle, and it’s imperative to remove them immediately. Spending time with Him every morning and evening serves as sunlight and rain, moistening and nurturing my garden with utmost care. Through Godly wisdom, my newly bloomed plant can grow and eventually multiply, providing fruit my Gardener desires. I need to accurately evaluate my heart constantly to keep soil up-to-par.

Disciples produce fruit. (Luke 15:8) All things flow out of the heart, be it flowers or thorns, and nipping sin in the bud is crucial. Standing at the pearly gates, I expect one question: where’s your fruit? Through His provision, I pray to produce a plethora of produce, lay it at my Gardener’s feet, and thank Him for care.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Luke 21: 19: By standing firm, you will win your souls.

Looking back at life thus far, I didn’t achieve the perfect fantasy I held as nonbeliever. I figured I’d be working at Bolthouse Productions, engaged to a wealthy stud, and living in a Santa Monica ocean-front. I’d belong to Equinox gym and have a tab at SoulCycle and order carry-out Nobu sushi every weeknight. I’d have VIP access at the Roosevelt rooftop parties and start my morning’s rollerblading the boardwalk with a cute puppy and win my age-division in the LA Marathon and be thin as a rail with hair down to my back-end. My life would be effortless and wonderful.

I planned various dreams and aspirations to achieve, setting high worldly standards without a thought of the Lord. But, once I came to Christ, my view of God changed. God is not a harsh, judging criticizer; Instead, He’s a loving Father and Friend. Seeing His love and mercy, I handed Him the reigns of my life, trusting He knew better than I where I belonged. I shook away lofty goals and trusted His caring provision, knowing I could trust the creator of the universe.

I handed Him my life on a silver platter, allowing Him to have His way with me, finding this to be the most life-changing decision I could ever make. The Lord has a bit of a sense of humor, choosing me of all people to be a missionary. If someone was to tell my twenty-year old non-Christian self where I’d be in two years, I would’ve laughed in their face. “Me? Go to Guatemala? With no Starbucks or internet? Not in a million years!” But, after accepting His love and trusting His guidance, He’s changed my desires and led me down roads I never thought possible.

Instead of living as a business-woman after graduation, I packed up my bags, kissed family and friends goodbye, and set off for a year-long missions school in Antigua, Guatemala to eat, sleep, and live life with forty likeminded people. I traded fleshly desires of success in replacement for a servant lifestyle, meanwhile taking a dating hiatus in faith the Lord will lead me to the right match.

Although its only been three weeks, God has shattered my perception of reality in replacement for authentic wisdom. He’s given me insight on what life is truly about, gently taking my quivering hand and laying me in His lush, green pastures.

Reading the Word, I often wondered why God says He’s our shepherd and we’re His sheep. Why wouldn’t He say we’re baby dolphins swimming after a whale? Or dogs looking to an owner? The reason is simple: sheep are not smart animals, known for aimlessly following each other and getting into trouble. Sheep have no means of defense against wolves and lions, making them helpless and constantly fearful.

Two years ago, I was a fearful sheep. I thought I knew what was best for me; I thought I knew exactly what I needed in life. Finding Christ,I saw how much of a scam my dreams really were. Even if I had achieved all those goals, I’m positive I still would’ve felt discontent and restless. I’d be constantly worrying; whether it be that my fiance would leave me or boss would fire me. With Christ as my shepherd, I have nothing to fear, knowing He’ll place me exactly where I belong. He tells me to cast my burdens on His shoulders and be anxious for nothing, but in everything pray and trust His Word.

I may not live the high-life I once dreamt, but I know this much: I’ve never felt as much peace as I do right now, laying in a bunk bed in Central America. Through His guidance, I know there’s nowhere else I should be.